I love being a mom.
It's what I was made for.
BUT I can't say that it's been easy. Actually it has probably been the most challenging thing I've ever done.
When I got married a level of myself easily kept at home was all of the sudden at home with someone else! I've heard people say that getting married is like looking into a mirror, because your spouse knows you like you know yourself [the good and the bad]. I had to learn that those not as pleasant aspects of myself weren't ok at home either! I am so thankful for my patient, humble and loving husband who is FOR me and for US growing together.
Ok, so if getting married is looking into a mirror then having a child is like having a magnifying mirror perpetually in front of your face.
1am? Mirror still there.
5am when baby wants to start his day and I want to sleep longer? Mirror still there.
2pm when baby is on a nap strike? Mirror still there. I have a million decisions everyday to choose to be patient or impatient, to choose compassion or frustration, to choose his needs or to be selfish. It would be dishonest to say that I always choose the correct option. But I can say that as I've made decision after decision to try and love him well, those choices have gotten easier, more natural and so life-giving.